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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29518515">Who is Emily Burger?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/FIVEpoint9/pseuds/FIVEpoint9'>FIVEpoint9</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Blaseball (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alcohol, Blaseball News Network, Gen, Interviews, Mexico City Wild Wings (Blaseball Team) - Freeform, Mouse Lore</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 16:34:51</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,001</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29518515</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/FIVEpoint9/pseuds/FIVEpoint9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Thank you for taking the time out during the siesta to speak with Blaseball News Network. We've gotten a lot of reports, but nothing that we can actually verify. So if you could clear this up for everyone: who is Emily Burger?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Who is Emily Burger?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h5>Cell Barajas</h5><p>Ooooh yea, Emily Burger! She was Summers’ old flame from back before her blaseball days. They were quite the pair, from what I heard. Practically inseparable! Well, right up until they were all TOO separable. Didn’t end on exactly amicable terms, if you know what I mean. I know you’re doing your job, but maybe don’t bring her up to Summers. Or Steph, for that matter.</p>
<h5>Summers Preston</h5><p>You mean Yong’s editor? She’s such a dear. Puts up with Yong when he gets in one of his moods. You know how it is, once you’ve been around the block for a few millennia and you think you know everything. But Mrs. Burger makes sure to keep him in line. No excuses for missing deadlines, even if we’re on the road. Those books won’t write themselves! What books? The ones he writes at Marge- Er, actually, can you forget I said anything?</p>
<h5>Yong Wright</h5><p>That’s Silvia’s “old” rum runner friend from Tennessee. I keep telling her that Prohibition is over and she can go down to the corner store but no, she just has to get that “kippy hooch” from a “trusted snake charmer.” Don’t know how trusted she actually is. Says she met Emily back in the 30’s, but I spent plenty of time in Knoxville back then and if she were a runner of any note, believe me, I’d know about her.</p>
<h5>Silvia Rugrat</h5><p>She’s that pip that Adkins calls up when they got something gumming the works. Got the low down to get that flivver running eggs in the coffee. Brings the oil can but she ain’t no oil can, dig? Chin music says she’s keen on the shutters, too.</p>
<h5>Adkins Gwiffin</h5><p>[Transcribed from destination sign]<br/>
<strong>BLACKSMITH…. LINDAVISTA…. FRAN BEANS…. COMMISSIONS…. SWORDS…. LIMBS…. HORSE TACK….</strong></p>
<h5>Fran Beans</h5><p>Shoot, that’d be that fancy trainer Peterson hires. I know the Wings ain’t got nothin’ special like coaches or managers or training facilities, but the rest of us make do. But that gal came down from Chicago chompin’ at the bit to stronger. Somethin’ about a friend over is Dallas. I guess I get it though, I do love to get my friends tickets to the gun show.</p>
<h5>Mullen Peterson</h5><p>I’m pretty sure I remember Brock talking about her. A sculptor, I think it was? You know how Brock has an eye for stones. Well, when he’s out on his rock hunts, he makes sure to keep an eye out for anything especially nice looking for his friend Emily. One of these days he’s got to bring one of her pieces to the clubhouse.</p>
<h5>Brock Watson</h5><p>The guitarrón player! Plays with Larry’s mariachi band. She belts out Si Nos Dejan and Serenata Huasteca like you wouldn’t believe. Are you here about that thing she has with the backup trumpet player? As if Larry needs another thing to tease that dude about!</p>
<h5>Lawrence Horne</h5><p>[Translated from LSM]<br/>
Emily was staff over at The Local Diner. She was good friends with Miguel. I think she quit after finishing her degree. She still meets there with Axel to reminisce about the old times. It’s good for Axel to have someone to talk to. Someone he doesn’t have to put an act on in front of.</p>
<h5>Axel Cardenas</h5><p>Ain’t she that professor over at Universidad Pontificia? Ever since Burke started manifesting all that angel stuff, he’s been heading over there to try to figure it out. Scared the bejeezus outta them when he showed up there, but Doc Burger seems to have taken a shine to him. Hopefully he’ll stop getting stuck in the locker room door so often.</p>
<h5>Burke Gonzales</h5><p>She’s that nice lady from the Lovers. I’m sure that Kennedy is having a difficult time having to manage the team so far away from San Francisco. Having someone from there stop by every once in a while must be such a help. I hope she’ll help him come out of his shell. I’d sure love to see him at the team dinners more often.</p>
<h5>Kennedy Meh</h5><p>Ah yes, the gardener. She keeps the topiaries looking absolutely splendid in the sylvan theater. Ms. Winters calls her in when she needs assistance getting her hair styled just right. To have hair as fickle as the seasons, I just don’t know how she manages. Hm? Of course I haven’t actually seen the gardens! Much too bright out there. It would ruin my complexion.</p>
<h5>Stephanie Winters</h5><p>That’s the one Josh is always on the phone with, right? Works for Ocean City in that one department, what’s it called? Oh! Public works, that’s it! Yea, running a city remotely is a tough gig, but with people like Emily helping out, I’m sure Josh can handle it.</p>
<h5>Joshua Watson</h5><p>A cobbler. Makes specialty shoes. You know those wing tip cleats Case is always wearing? They have to special order them from Emily Burger. Only so many places that’ll do that kind of work. When you find someone who can, and does it good, you don’t let that get away.</p>
<h5>Case Sports</h5><p>Emily is Rafael’s cousin from Chiapas. Lives out by the Lacandon jungle, working at the Montes Azules reserve as an orthinologist. I think she came by a couple seasons ago to look after Raf’s birds while we were on the road. He went and visited her earlier on in the siesta.</p>
<h5>Rafael Davids</h5><p>That was the name of Ronan’s pet archaeopteryx! He had it when he was still over with the Poppers. Cutest little think you ever saw. Wish there was a way to bring him on over to this dimension. But, hey, if Burke ever figures out his project, I guess we could!</p>
<h5>Ronan Combs</h5><p>You didn’t hear it from me, but Emily Burger IS Cell Barajas. At least one of them. From season four or five I think. She wanted to play more splorts so changed her name and tried out for a flútbol team. Last I heard she’s working her way up the minors.</p>
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